Love, Sincerely Yours

Dear Mister.. . . no, too formal.

Hey there sweet cheeks. . . no, too forward.

*Clears throat*

To whom it may concern,

Full disclosure; before we move forward with this email, I would like it to be known that I have consumed an adequate amount of alcoholic beverages to intoxicate myself tonight. Three margaritas, two shots, and one beer amp;mdash; because it was free.

I think it's important to be open and honest with your co-workers, don't you?

So here I am…